Local mother works to raise awareness of bereaved parents in labor ward
The Labor and Delivery ward is typically one of the cheeriest parts of any hospital. Rooms and suites are filled with new mothers, fathers, and siblings — not to mention an endless parade of well-wishing visitors — all welcoming the latest addition to the family.
But that’s not always the case. Unfortunately, these same happy hallways are sometimes also home to couples who are experiencing indescribable sadness. They are the parents of babies who, tragically, did not survive. And for these bereaved families, the sound of nearby joy and laughter, or even the misspoken word of an unsuspecting staff member, can add to the burden of their grief.
But now Allegheny Health Network is working with a local mother who lived through this after losing a child to make sure that bereaved families are met with compassion and care.
It was Memorial Day weekend in 2020, and Becky Keenan was pregnant with her second son, Caleb, when Becky suspected something might be wrong. Pregnancy to that point was often uncomfortable, but nothing had been abnormal or worrisome. However, that Saturday the pain became unbearable, and Becky called her doctor, who told her to come into the hospital. There Becky and her husband, Jeff, got the Earth-shattering news that there was no heartbeat on the ultrasound. Soon, their doctor brought them the official news that Caleb was dead.
From the beginning of the Keenans’ harrowing experience, there was a gap in communication with hospital staff, even as Jeff was able to see things begin to unfold. Becky also had to wait an unusually long time to receive treatment for her pain. And the Keenans were continually visited by staff who would reflexively offer their congratulations, unintentionally adding to the couple’s pain.
“That’s a very typical thing on a Labor and Delivery floor,” says Becky. “You come into a room and see a person who doesn’t look pregnant anymore, so they must have had their baby. You say ‘Wow! Congrats!’”
Unfortunately, this is something that can happen in any hospital.
However, throughout the Keenans’ prolonged tragedy, one positive thing emerged. Once the first shift of hospital workers changed, Becky and Jeff were assigned to a new nurse named Desiree, who not only acknowledged the couple’s predicament but also took the time to try and empathize and help them through their pain. Desiree even went out of her way to learn Caleb’s name.
“That shift change was the best thing that happened that day,” says Becky. “Desiree is my Angel of Mercy. She really understood who we are and how we deal with things.”
Desiree’s kindness and sensitivity stuck with Becky, in particular. Then when weeks later, one of Becky’s coworkers suggested she listen to a podcast about another baby who was stillborn and whose parents experienced much the same thing. This family was trying to raise money for a bereavement suite — a separate place designated specifically for women delivering babies who were already dead or not expected to live long after birth. That way, all staff would automatically know that what happens there is very different from the rest of the Labor and Delivery unit.
“I listened to that podcast episode, and I thought: ‘This is something,’” says Becky. “I thought that would just be a beautiful legacy for Caleb.”
The Keenans are now working with Marta Kolthoff, Director of Olivia’s Angels Perinatal Palliative Program at AHN, to raise awareness among AHN staff, implement formal bereavement training, and institute other measures to ensure that bereaved parents are cared for in a manner that doesn’t exacerbate the raw pain of their loss. For instance, signs are now posted outside of the rooms of bereaved families that direct nurses, orderlies, and physicians to the nurse’s station before entering so that they know exactly the situation they are walking into. AHN staff are also learning more about things like records of birth and other tools that really validate a child’s existence, no matter how brief their time on this Earth was.
“What we’re trying to do here at Allegheny Health Network is really a culture change,” says Dr. Kolthoff. “When I heard about Becky’s mission to create a bereavement suite, I was absolutely overjoyed. I told her I’ve been at this for about 20 years now, and to see an institution say: ‘Oh this is important,’ … I wasn’t sure if that was actually going to happen during my time. Coming to Allegheny Health Network, it’s going to be something special because we have the passion and commitment to our families.”
Meanwhile, Caleb is still very much a part of the Keenan family — even now, as the family prepares to welcome a new daughter this spring.
“He’s part of who we are,” says Jeff. “We’ve embraced that. Carter, our oldest son, has embraced that. And we keep that with us every day.”